Only thing we have to fear is fear itself.

To start my blog, I want to give some background information. My first few posts will be past tense, so you will understand me better. In my freshman year of college I went to a D2 school. I thought I would love it. It was weird for me, though, being away from my family and my core group of friends. I grew up in a very small town; everybody knows each other here. I didn't realize at the time, but I really didn't remember how to make new friends. My very best friends have been with me since middle school. Being thrust into a new environment can be very scary. As most of  you know, meeting people in college consists of partying. I was all for it, until I got caught, which was pathetically within the first month. I couldn't afford to get in trouble again, but this is when everyone was forming new bonds. I found myself staying in a lot, because I just had too much to lose. During this period of time, my anxiety reached an all time high. I had panic attacks multiple times a day. I had suffered through them most of my life, but this was more than I could handle. If you are lucky enough to not know what a panic attack feels like, I'll try to explain it. Death. That's the only way to describe it. I know it feels exactly what dying feels like. It's hard to breathe, I sweat, my heart races. It affected me so severely that I didn't want to be around people. After a year of dealing with it in silence, I had to get out. I transferred to my community college. I also got help with my anxiety and I'm now the happiest I've ever been. I'm currently in the process of getting back to school, because I eventually took time off. I've figured my life out, and I can't wait to start the rest of it. I'm so thankful for the people who stuck with me through this period of my life. These were my darkest days, and as cliche as it sounds, there's a light at the end of the tunnel. I want to share my story, because we hear of so many tragedies where people end their lives because they think things will never get better. I assure you that they can. I didn't think I could talk to anyone though, and I want all of you to know that if you feel this way, you can talk to me.

-D

"A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor."